No this was not lonliness, but just the thoughts in my head--last post. Maybe the same thoughts in my dughters head--a sort of pleasant melancholy. Do not read me as "alone" or as "morose." It is simply put on as a preist wears a collar. Faith by the fistful. Lost in the land. But I am so far from melancholy, morose or lost. Usually cynically upbeat while waiting for the next disappointment to rear it's head. Often the suprise of learning is a sort of disappointment--like, I shoul dhave seen it coming or I should have known this all before. And meanwhile, on the other side of the coin is my enthusuiasm for the new--finding the "aha" or the "Oh shit" and smiling while it runs away with me.

My sadness is tempered by my satisfaction in the curve of what is being learned. My excitement within the challenge of all that is a "first" or a fiendish condundrum. While i do not likecrossword puzzles, and flinch when confronted with patience and listening, my caution comes from making sure I do not miss those first when they are in front of me. How easy to simply storm past them and never face the challenge. Would only be a way to keep my world very small--life lived too fast can get incresingly narrow for fear of loosing sight of the path before us.

Crunching this out makes feel like this is already understood--and observable. Oughtta get back to bullriding. Looking for those streets of Pamplona as the weather gets colder.

Good.